Am I doing this right? Is this going to effect them for the rest of their lives? She’s not doing this the way I am. Which one of us is right? Honestly, I’m a pretty laid back mom. For having to be as organized as I have to be, I go with the flow pretty well.
I also have a great support system. I got to watch my nephews and nieces come into this world and I got to learn from watching them grow, as well as from my own mom. The things that I’ve heard and seen outside of my little bubble have appalled me somedays.
Do you see that mom? She told her child no! Did you see that mom? She won’t tell her child no! That baby has been crying down every aisle in the grocery store. Shouldn’t she do something about that? Guess what? I think everyone has been there. Babies cry!
Everyone always tells me how well behaved my kids are in church. I love that people think that. The truth is, sometimes I feel a lot of pressure to make sure they don’t disturb others. Is that old lady looking back at me and thinking my babies are being too loud? Did the people up front singing not appreciate my babies singing along?
The truth is, God made babies. I think he loves to hear from them and I know he loves to see them in church. Besides, it isn’t like I can hold all three of them and make sure that they’re all quiet all the time! This is just an example. Honestly, anytime I’m out in public with the babes, I feel pressure.
Pressure to be sure that I have every form of entertainment they could possibly need. Pressure to be sure that everyone is happy. Pressure to make sure that I also always have a smile on my face. Pressure that when the next person that asks me if they’ve hit their next milestone, I don’t blow a gasket.
I’ve had to learn to be extremely patient with other people over the last year and a half. Through my pregnancy and now having the three babies with me, we get a lot of interesting questions. If you’ve read my other blogs, you know this already. I always give a smile and answer their questions as well as I can.
I have noticed myself looking at other parents and wondering what they think of me. Sometimes I get the friendly smiles and other times I get the people who are mortified thinking about having three little ones at one time. All along, I needed to remember that no one else’s opinion matters.
I can take advice from everyone. My friends, colleagues, family, Bryan’s family. Everyone has their own opinion and advice. I will take every single piece of it! I’ll be the first to admit that until I’m doing something, or until the babies have hit that milestone I have no idea what I’m getting into! That’s why the advice is always welcome. Just don’t expect me to always take it and use it!
I’m a parent. We all learn what works best for us in our own homes. I work every day to be a better parent for my babies. Only my husband and myself can have a final say in what that means for us. Does that mean that I don’t think your opinion matters? Does that mean that I think what you’re doing is wrong? Heck no! It just means that I found something else that works better for me.
That’s why I think every parent needs to stop judging everyone else that we see out and about. You have no idea what their situation is. Yes, we all know that there are people out there who are doing things incorrectly. Is it our place to judge them? Absolutely not. This is a judge free zone. I’m not talking about the serious stuff that makeup the difference between a good parent and a neglectful one. I’m talking about whether you think it’s okay for my children to have juice boxes. Or whether or not I should be giving them organic milk. Or if I shouldn’t be giving them milk at all.
To each their own! I would never walk up to someone at the park and tell them that they shouldn’t give their kid a cookie. You do you! Just don’t expect me not to do me. I’m also lucky that I have friends who have similar parenting styles. I also have my sister-in-law. She’s my ‘go-to’.
She has put me at ease about so much over the past year and has no idea. That’s why, I try so hard to be sure that I let things bounce off of me. Do some things break through and hurt me more than they should? Absolutely. I feel like if I didn’t care a little bit, then I wouldn’t be who I am.
I just think that we all need to realize there isn’t just one way to parent. We were all raised differently. It doesn’t mean that any of us are better than the other. I just need to focus on being my best for my babies. I need to be sure that they see me as a confident mom. No more second guessing myself. My choices are just that. Mine. The only person I need to justify them to is my husband. In the future, my kids will probably ask for justification and that’s when I can tell them, ‘because I said so’. <—-Just kidding. I’ve just always wanted to say that.
I hope everyone has a great day!! I had more to write, but I spent my day today at the Emergency room and taking care of Brody! If you saw my Instagram you saw that he broke his tibia. Someday soon, I’ll be able to tell you all about it!
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