It doesn’t seem like a day goes by, that I don’t have someone ask me how I do what I do. It’s hard for me to explain, because mostly, I just do it. Really, if we’re being honest, I don’t have a choice! People think that my circumstances are overwhelming and some days they are but if you were me, you would do exactly what I do.
I feel looking back, that the first six months of the babes lives are a blur. Thank God for pictures because I was out of it half the time. Yes, of course, I remember milestones. Of course I remember specific days. For the most part, my day in and day out duties are a bit foggy.
I’ve used the saying, ‘Fake it til ya make it’ since day one. I don’t think there is a first-time parent out there that is 100% prepared for every scenario that is thrown your way. There isn’t anything out there that could’ve prepared me for my time in the NICU. There isn’t anything out there that could’ve prepared me for the decisions we had to make on the fly.
When you’re in the NICU, you have to go with your gut, and trust your doctors. I faked my way through the NICU. I also became a parent in front of an entire nursing and doctor staff. I guess I kind of cheated there a bit. I got to watch and learn from the people that do this stuff every day.
Then you get home and you have these three babies that completely depend on you. There isn’t anything that could prepare me for that. People say I look like I have it all together. Well, thanks. I sure hope it looks that way at least 10% of the time because most of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing.
“How do you keep up with three kids all running in different directions?” Guys, the answer is, I DON’T! I chase after the one that’s going the fastest or the one that’s going toward something they shouldn’t have. Then I pray that the other two were slow enough for me to catch next!
That’s just for at home, of course. When in public, I always have extra hands with me right now. They’re too little to listen to everything I’m saying right now and my anxiety would get the best of me to do anything where they weren’t at least contained. I take a stab at the grocery store alone every once in a while (they’re in a grocery cart there) and then we do make it to the park (again they’re in a stroller).
I don’t need three arms when they are all buckled into something. Other than that? I have a companion everywhere we go.
It makes me laugh when people gasp and thank God that they aren’t me. No, I don’t think it’s hilarious, but there isn’t anything I can do to change their opinion. I was blessed with these three beautiful blessings and if I have to fake every day, every new challenge, every new milestone, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
Does that mean that I’m doing things half way? Heck no! I give everything 110% every day. It just means that until I figure out what is going to happen next, I put a smile on and fake my way through it. There isn’t anything about my situation that you would hear me complain about.
I had an older woman in the grocery store ask me how I nursed three babies. I smile and say my line of, ‘I made it four months but we had to switch to formula.’ Is that any of her business? No. Does it hurt me to talk about? When my milk first dried up, I felt kind of like I had failed. When I sat back and thought about the amount of milk that I provided for three babies at one time, I had to smile about it. I was proud of myself for making it as long as I had!
People have been stopping at my house, asking about my brother. When they walk in, are they finding a pristine house? Heck no! We know, I clean my floors every other night. We also know, I don’t follow my kids around and pick up things behind them. I now pick up toys once a day. That is either right before bedtime, or right after they’ve all gotten in bed. What’s the point? If you don’t like the toys laying around, you probably shouldn’t have come to a house that has three babies running around. 🙂
I got my favorite question the other day. ‘Are your babies real or fake?’ Ummmm…Skin and bones here. Flesh and blood. I know we’ve talked about this one before. I know what they’re asking. I just don’t feel like they even realize how they’re asking it. Under what circumstances would I answer that my children are fake? They aren’t made of plastic. I know, because I carried them and now I have that C-section scar to prove they were in there. (Along with my little love pouch) haha.
Again, I remind myself that people for some reason think, because you have multiples, you are an open book. Along with being a phenomenon. I understand that people just have no clue. I also understand it’s an odd thing to comprehend. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t keep your thoughts to yourself.
Mind you, these are strangers! If you’re my friend and you want to ask me crazy questions about my kids, go for it! I really am an open book. It’s usually the context, tone, or delivery that I don’t appreciate from strangers. That also doesn’t mean that if you are a stranger, and you say something nice about my kids or say something encouraging to me, I will ignore you.
I can appreciate that you don’t see triplets everywhere. I will answer questions with a smile on my face while my husband keeps walking. He says that I need to follow his lead on that and sometimes, I wish I would. I just don’t have it in me to be rude.
I got a little side tracked there. I’m pretty passionate when it comes to people just thinking that you’re fair game to ask a million questions because you had three babies at once instead of one.
I always wonder, if I saw a quad mom, would I feel the urge to say all the things that people say to us? Then, my husband and I saw a family with quads. There were no questions that came to mind. I didn’t grill her and ask her how she makes it through the day when she is one more outnumbered than I am. I didn’t say, GOD BLESS YOU. (In that snarky tone that people say it to me.) I looked at her and smiled and congratulated her on her four babies.
Either way, to answer everyone’s question of how I do what I do every day? I fake it. Every day is different! No two are the same. The babies wants and needs are different every day. Eventually, I find a pattern and I’m no longer faking it. Then, once I find my groove, I wake up the next day and they’re doing something new! That’s when I start to fake it again! 🙂
I don’t think this just applies to multiples! I think that every mom, at one time or another, is totally faking it and getting through. You rely on those instincts. You put that smile on. You take in a deep breath. You let it out. You breathe your way through and then all of a sudden you’re doing it every day. Things that once were forced, now come naturally.
Guys, it’s Wednesday! We’re halfway there and my family vacation is hopefully starting on Friday! For everyone that has sent messages about my brothers family, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Each and every one of them is appreciated. We are just taking all of that day to day and my prayers are going up strong every day as well.
Have a great day and thanks for reading! 🙂